#StartTheConversation on how to #AddressDomesticViolence

October is the month of Domestic Violence Awareness and Breast cancer Awareness. As an urban educated society, we have acknowledged the importance of physical health and successfully removed any inhibitions on discussing Breast cancer openly. But, we fail, when it comes to even acknowledge Domestic Abuse. And to add to this open secret, are the only stereotype abuses shown in films, which further hampers our understanding or ability to grasp the depth and intensity of the subject.

kyunki, estraang hai hum!
I am approached almost every once in 2 days by friends, acquaintances and sometimes strangers for help, advice, network to address abuse in their life or their closed one's life. The system has anyway failed many victims, but so have we as a society. We only intervene when things go out of control and we do that too very conveniently. 

According to NFHS-4, every third woman has complained of domestic abuse, but the cases registered are a mere 3 digit number. EVERY THIRD WOMAN!

The most empowering tool is education and hence we organized a 3 hour session (which eventually became 4 hours!) on how to #AddressDomesticViolence on 27th October at Nritya Centre for Performing Arts from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM and we witnessed our 50 member audience go fiery and feisty to teary angry!
Me asking everyone to throw away experience and expectations up in the air!
Our pre and post event results are more than satisfactory encouraging us to do more such events. We checked for 4 indicators pre and post-event such as
   1.     I am confident on what to say to a DV survivor
   2.    I am confident about my suggestions/help in terms of legal advise
 3.    I feel confident to initiate conversations on how to address DV
   4.    I am likely to intervene when I witness a DV case


So, what helped in such an impressive graph you ask? Our more than amazing speakers. I have tried to sum-up key takeaways here. The PPTs are available in the resource folder attached.

Session-1: What, Why and Where of DV by Ekta Viiveck Verma

Ekta is the founder of Invisible Scars and is equipped with more than 20+ years of experience which makes her the best speaker to open the session on how to acknowledge Domestic Abuse, which is the most critical step of all.
Ekta explaining the whats and whys of DV
Key takeaways
    ·  Domestic Violence is when inequality exists because of the trio of "fear, power and control" of the abuser on the victim.
   · Domestic violence takes the form of psychological abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, digital abuse and physical abuse.
    ·  It is very important to understand the difference between conflict and abuse. Both men and women perpetuate patriarchy. Domestic Abuse happens because of a behavioural pattern which is hot and cold. It is a cycle that needs to be broken. It is not ghar ka mamla. and the "sabse bada rog is kya kahenge log".
     ·  It is difficult to accept for a victim because of the shame, humiliation and fear surrounding it. But, stand up! Biggest enemy is the silence.

 Session - 2: The Legal Aspects of DV by Mr.Shakeel Mohammed

 Mr. Shakeel has immense experience as a Human Rights Lawyer with over 25+ years of defending many marginalized people. Here's what he had to say


Mr. Shakeel explaining how courts dont really help and urging people to still stand up for themselves!
·   "Unless you break a rule, you don't achieve social justice."; "the moment you stand up, you are empowered. despite what the court is saying or not." ; "Justice is what you seek for yourself."
    ·  According to Section 3 - Silence is an offense. Next time you are looking away or being silent, hope this reminder helps!
     · Domestic Violence Act 2005 - awareness; legal terms and how it works. who is a protection officer, how must they respond. The victims are entitled for a "monetary relief". They dont have to worry about the expenses for seeking justice.
    · Where will a woman go? the shelter homes are in a pathetic state, the courts are so late, where will a woman go? But let this not stop you, stand up and you will find support.

 Session - 3: My story by Renee Grace

Renee starts off by saying "I will cry. But, dont for one second think i am weak. Cuz, i am not and you will see that. if i cry, you all can cry with me. If i laugh, you all can laugh with me. It is okay if i cry too..."
Renee making us go through a scale of emotions along with her!

Renee means - born again! And her story in her words is just like that. She, feeling born again, and living a new life the minute she decided to stand up for herself. She took us through a journey of just rocks and how society (we) failed her not once but multiple times and how despite all that, she rose, like fire, like the dragon queen. Renee, is an inspiration for every single human being. It takes extreme courage to narrate a story, to relive that trauma, but share it so that numerous others realize that they are not alone and they too can start living. But, it takes even more to forgive an abuser. And that is where Renee becomes so different than the rest. Through her foundation called Dignity Drive, she has reached out to more than 20,000+ young girls and she plans to reach more and more, spreading her willpower and quest for living and dreaming with all of them!

our audience!
About W&E Collective:
W&E collective is a group of social activists, doctors, holistic therapists and artists. W&E Collective’s initiative “Start the conversation” intends to raise awareness and create engagements on various social issues, health concerns and environmental causes. The collective comprises of Social Worker/ activist Spurthi Kolipaka, the NGO Good Universe (Kamal, Zara and Anusha), and writer/ Aviva method instructor Triparna Banerjee.

Resources:
The link has handouts, PPTs, etc.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1o7ancCTWzpH5z4EqgfDjhPkRJ7vneomG

Special Mention
- Swathi Neena, Priyanka Peddinti for being the event sponsors. Thank you for believing and supporting. Our event costed just Rs.4735/- and we are using the rest for the next breast cancer awareness event!
- Meghana Myadam for creating the WA group for communication
- Taufique for such beautiful pictures
- Rajeshwari for being present throughout
- Varsha Bhargavi for lending support from #IWillGoOut









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